My name is Crystal and I am a recovering addict. I have struggled a eating disorder, as well as addiction with drugs, and alcohol. I have struggled with all three of these addictions as well as depression, and anxiety most of my life. My addiction first reared its ugly head when I was 15 with my eating disorder. When I was introduced to stimulants my eating disorder went into overdrive. I am not sure if my eating disorder fuels my addiction or the other way around. I just know if I engage in one of these behaviors I am engaging in them both. For me working a program of recovery for my eating disorder and addiction is imperative in order for me to stay sober.
Eating Disorders, Addiction and Control
When I was 15 years old my parents got divorced and the perfect little world I thought I was living in was shattered into a million pieces. I had no idea where I fit into any part of my life or where I belonged. I felt absolutely lost and had no control over anything around me.
At the time the only thing I could control in my life was food. I began restricting my eating and drinking. I later learned that this was the beginning of my battle with addiction, and with an eating disorder. I had no idea that what I was doing was restricting and this became my coping skill at times of stress in my life. I would either restrict my food intake, or binge so that I didn’t have to feel my feelings or deal with what was going on around me.
This was a vicious cycle because when I would restrict I was irritable and depressed. When I would binge I was eating my feelings which was a double edged sword. I suffered from self hatred, and low self esteem because I was putting on weight. I always felt that if I looked perfect on the outside, no one would know what a mess I was on the inside.
Recovery is Possible
A major key for me for living a healthy and happy life in recovery from addiction and anorexia has been possible by developing healthy habits, and coping mechanisms. Consistently engaging in these activities over time made the negative habits I had engaged in for so many years less appealing to me.
The main benefits that have emerged from me getting sober are the peace I have in mind, body, and spirit. I am able to show up for others, and extend a hand to other addicts and alcoholics. I have saved myself and everyone in my life from the pain I caused in my in my addictive addiction and am able to make a living amends to them every day I am sober.
My journey in recovery has been a slow process but you have to be patient, kind, and loving to yourself through this healthing process. Through proper nutrition, exercise, yoga, and mindful meditation I have healed my mind, body, and spirit. I have also worked the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and Overeaters Anonymous with a sponsor. I have been living a clean, healthy, happy, and sober life now for three years now and it has saved my life! It is not easy to overcome addiction or an eating disorder but there is a life beyond your wildest dreams just waiting for you!
Crystal Hampton is a 37 year old avid writer from South Florida. She loves snuggling with her teacup yorkie Gator and boyfriend Adam. She works for a digital marketing company that advocates spreading awareness on the disease of addiction. Her passion in life is to help others by sharing her experience, strength, and hope.