Narcissists are people who exhibit a sense of superiority, entitlement, and lack of empathy towards others. They often create a façade of being charming, confident, and successful to gain admiration and adoration from those around them. However, when their mask is removed, and their true nature is exposed, things can get difficult. Here are seven things to expect when the narcissist knows you have figured them out.
- Denial and Deflection: The narcissist will deny any wrongdoing and deflect any criticism. They may try to gaslight you, distort the truth, or place the blame on someone else. They might also play the victim and accuse you of being unfair or unreasonable.
- “Flying monkeys” is another tactic used by narcissists that involves enlisting the help of others to do their bidding or to further their agenda. The term comes from the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz, who sends out her winged monkeys to do her dirty work. In the context of narcissistic abuse, “flying monkeys” can refer to individuals who are manipulated by the narcissist to attack, discredit, or intimidate the victim. The narcissist might use lies, half-truths, or emotional appeals to get their “flying monkeys” on their side. They might portray themselves as the victim, accuse the victim of wrongdoing, or use other manipulative tactics to sway others to their side. “Flying monkeys” can be anyone, including friends, family members, coworkers, or even strangers on the internet.Dealing with “flying monkeys” can be challenging, as it can be difficult to defend yourself against multiple attackers or to convince others of the truth. It’s important to set boundaries, seek support from trusted individuals, and avoid engaging in arguments or debates with the “flying monkeys.” It’s also important to remember that their opinions do not define your worth or truth.
- Emotional Manipulation: When the narcissist knows you have figured them out, they may try to play on your emotions. They might use guilt, fear, or pity to get you to back off or feel sorry for them. They may also try to make you doubt your own perceptions or emotions.
- Anger and Hostility: Narcissists do not handle criticism well. When they feel threatened, they may become angry and hostile. They might lash out verbally, emotionally, or even physically. They may try to intimidate you or use their power and influence to make you back down.
- Smear Campaigns: If the narcissist feels threatened, they may launch a smear campaign against you. They may spread false rumors, gossip, or lies to damage your reputation. They might also try to turn others against you and make you feel isolated and alone.
- Triangulation: Narcissists may use triangulation as a way to manipulate and control others. They might bring in a third party to undermine you, make you jealous, or create a sense of competition. This third party could be a friend, family member, or even a new romantic interest.
- Discard or Disappear: If the narcissist feels they can no longer control or manipulate you, they may discard you altogether. They might disappear without a word or discard you as if you never mattered. This can be confusing and hurtful, but it is just another way they try to maintain their power and control.
- Redemption and Return: Finally, it is not uncommon for narcissists to try to come back into your life after a period of time. They might apologize, promise to change, or even act remorseful. However, these changes are often short-lived, and the cycle of manipulation and control will likely continue.
- Gaslighting is a common tactic used by narcissists when they feel their power or control is being threatened. Gaslighting involves manipulating someone into questioning their own perceptions or reality, often by denying the truth, minimizing the impact of their actions, or twisting the facts. This can make the victim feel confused, disoriented, and doubt their own memory and sanity. Gaslighting can also cause the victim to feel more dependent on the narcissist for validation and guidance, further reinforcing the narcissist’s power and control over the victim. It’s important to recognize gaslighting and seek support from trusted friends, family, or professionals to help you regain your sense of self and reality.
In conclusion, figuring out a narcissist can be difficult, but it is important to remember that their behavior is not your fault. It is essential to set boundaries, prioritize your well-being, and seek support from trusted friends or professionals. While it may not be easy, it is possible to move on and create a life free from the narcissist’s influence.