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It is challenging for most people to ask for help with a personal problem. Fear, embarrassment, and low self-esteem can get in the way of talking to those close to you when you need assistance. However, burying your head in the sand is the worst thing you can do, and sometimes you need the help of someone else to get where you need to be. It isn’t something to be ashamed of, and from checking your coping to respecting others, here’s how to do it.

Be Honest About the Problems

One of the hardest things to do is be honest with yourself and others about having problems with which you need help. But the first step to actually getting the help you need is admitting there is a problem in the first place. It is easier to ignore help for problems like alcohol addiction treatment, but it can often be too late before you ask. However, there is a learning opportunity in every action, and after you hit the bottom, the only way you can go is up.

Acknowledge Your Coping to Ask for Help

Asking for help is a powerful way of seeking the aid you need for almost any problem, not just addiction. However, you must understand how you feel and what makes you feel that way. Your coping mechanisms may not be the best, and there are some you need to avoid at all costs:

• Under no circumstances indulge in vices to cope with your feelings and emotions.
• Don’t take it out on others, or the help you need can walk away from you.
• Embarrassment is natural, but asking for help is harder than burying your head.

Open Up to the Right People

Not everyone has your best interests at heart. It might be hard to handle, but even the people you think are your friends can be the last people you should ask for help. If your friends encourage you to drink or take drugs, or they don’t respect you as a person, walk away from them. Only then can you begin approaching the right people for help. The people who actually care and want the best for you. They may not be able to help directly, but can still assist you.

Be Specific when You Ask for Help

Asking for help is a hard thing to do, and you can try and fail a few times before you are strong enough to go through with it. For example, drug addiction relapse rates are around 60% on average, but mindset shifts can help with addiction, and that means being specific about your problems:

• Avoid vague language and be honest about the problem you need help with.
• Tell the other person how you have ended up here and how they can help.
• Be honest about how you are being affected and what you want to achieve.

When you are feeling overwhelmed, vague language won’t help when you are asking someone for the help you need. For the best outcome for you and someone helping you, it helps to be as clear as possible about the problem, how they can help, and what you are hoping to achieve.

Hold Yourself Accountable

In most cases, and if you are honest about it, the situation you find yourself in is of your own making. Taking accountability for your own actions is a major step to helping yourself, but it also makes others more likely to help you, too. Blaming others won’t work, and you must recognize that you have made mistakes for people to respect you enough to help. Focus on your experience to make a conversation less confrontational and easier for the other person.

Respect Others when You Ask for Help

It is very hard to admit you have a problem and that you need help. However, it isn’t easy for someone to hear this either. Even a relative like a parent can be overwhelmed and shocked about your issues, and you must respect their boundaries as you expect them to respect yours:

• Understand that the other person might not be in a position to actually help you.
• Make it clear that it is okay for them to say no to you if they cannot help.
• Ask if they have the time to talk with you and make it clear that the issue is serious.

Learn to Spot When You Need an Expert

It is a wonderful thing to have friends and relatives who want to help you, and you are lucky, too. Not everyone has people they can turn to for help. However, in some cases, where there has been emotional damage and drugs or alcohol are involved, you might need the help of a trained professional. If your mental health is suffering and you feel overwhelmed, it might be best to ask a doctor or counsellor for help. These are trained to help and won’t ever make any judgments.

Summary

Being honest about your problems is a major first step when you need to ask for help with an issue. It is also fair to others to be specific about what you need and expect. However, not everyone can help, and it may be the case that you need the aid of a medical professional.